back to school, the HW is comming in again, late nights, fustrating days, tired self, i kinda losing it again. guess what, we spoken to the year head for his "get to know my students dialogue" (crap) and he says reasons for long time table because only 40% of us are going to the local uni. the rest, well, will fail and got no where to go... some background info here... this dude has been in SR for 10 years, and guess what, the passing rate to local uni has still been 40%. i dun trust him... how u expect us to have extra time to do our hw, practice and revice our work when on average we end school at abt 2.30 to 3.00. well, indeed we need more time, but no necessary in terms of spending more time in school yea? i know that i am slow, but whats the use when u are so tired to even listen to lectures, tutorials. i go no idea. even teachers in other JCs also think that our timetable is crazy. anyway, since i am here, i gotta abide to the rules...

i am really considering alot now. i have done really badly for mids. failed maths, just passes chinese, very very likely to fail chem, econs and gp. some of you people might think i am lying, if u do, stop reading, go away. i feel useless now, i studied so hard for it, hoping to have Bs... in the end... well? is it the way i study again? now i understand my facts, i understand the topics, i praticed my tutorials... and guess what, the teachers says its more of application than understanding. in fact, or at least, my maths teacher says there is in fact no use doing tutorials at all... well?

as you guys know, my timetable ends relatively late as compared to other JCs. i do not think i can continue with SYFC. besides, i cannot change the timetable for myself to me able to attend lessons in SYFC. (4 time a week, for 13 months). if i join, i might even retain back in JC 1. something that i really do not want. how? worship ministry also, suddenly come down with so much rules and regulations. i just started learning bass, and we are expected to know all the songs, how to play them even before we step in for practice. we are also "Strongly encouraged to listen to chrisitan and christian comtemporary music", we are expected not to even screw up for practice. the rules goes on and on... yes, rules are set so that we can be god fearing, passionate and god loving worshippers. but hey, some rules are really absurb. i mean, practice, there are time that you might screw up right? its not as if i want to make things go bad... and one more, commitment. i want to serve god, but i do not want to do it feeling so pressured; not by god, but by the people around me. pray for me guys, allow god to show me the way that i should go.

back in school, i am still struggling with pull ups, i can only do 3 now, thats bad... i still feel hostile to others in school, but its kinda better now, some people in school are really nice, like nash, ryan, some councillors, some of my classmates. i believe the problem lies with me, i need to be more friendly, more sociable. but it damn difficult for me, i mean, i spent almost all my life in a boys school, i still feel very very wierd talking to girls, even to the ones i know pretty well.

i want to drop out of school, trust me, for you guys doing your Os, do it well, go to the poly. JC is hell. i cannot stand the stress, the workload, i feel demoralised by my grades. i hate waking up so early, slping so late. i want to enjoy mylife, i want to do things that i want. i do not feel like going on,no aim at all. and i got only a 40% chance... i might not even make it after i studied so hard. lol.

well?

i want to be a pilot, so gotta try hard. if i dun make it...

i will work hard so to prevent it.

back to school, the HW is comming in again, late nights, fustrating days, tired self, i kinda losing it again. guess what, we spoken to the year head for his "get to know my students dialogue" (crap) and he says reasons for long time table because only 40% of us are going to the local uni. the rest, well, will fail and got no where to go... some background info here... this dude has been in SR for 10 years, and guess what, the passing rate to local uni has still been 40%. i dun trust him... how u expect us to have extra time to do our hw, practice and revice our work when on average we end school at abt 2.30 to 3.00. well, indeed we need more time, but no necessary in terms of spending more time in school yea? i know that i am slow, but whats the use when u are so tired to even listen to lectures, tutorials. i go no idea. even teachers in other JCs also think that our timetable is crazy. anyway, since i am here, i gotta abide to the rules...

i am really considering alot now. i have done really badly for mids. failed maths, just passes chinese, very very likely to fail chem, econs and gp. some of you people might think i am lying, if u do, stop reading, go away. i feel useless now, i studied so hard for it, hoping to have Bs... in the end... well? is it the way i study again? now i understand my facts, i understand the topics, i praticed my tutorials... and guess what, the teachers says its more of application than understanding. in fact, or at least, my maths teacher says there is in fact no use doing tutorials at all... well?

as you guys know, my timetable ends relatively late as compared to other JCs. i do not think i can continue with SYFC. besides, i cannot change the timetable for myself to me able to attend lessons in SYFC. (4 time a week, for 13 months). if i join, i might even retain back in JC 1. something that i really do not want. how? worship ministry also, suddenly come down with so much rules and regulations. i just started learning bass, and we are expected to know all the songs, how to play them even before we step in for practice. we are also "Strongly encouraged to listen to chrisitan and christian comtemporary music", we are expected not to even screw up for practice. the rules goes on and on... yes, rules are set so that we can be god fearing, passionate and god loving worshippers. but hey, some rules are really absurb. i mean, practice, there are time that you might screw up right? its not as if i want to make things go bad... and one more, commitment. i want to serve god, but i do not want to do it feeling so pressured; not by god, but by the people around me. pray for me guys, allow god to show me the way that i should go.

back in school, i am still struggling with pull ups, i can only do 3 now, thats bad... i still feel hostile to others in school, but its kinda better now, some people in school are really nice, like nash, ryan, some councillors, some of my classmates. i believe the problem lies with me, i need to be more friendly, more sociable. but it damn difficult for me, i mean, i spent almost all my life in a boys school, i still feel very very wierd talking to girls, even to the ones i know pretty well.

i want to drop out of school, trust me, for you guys doing your Os, do it well, go to the poly. JC is hell. i cannot stand the stress, the workload, i feel demoralised by my grades. i hate waking up so early, slping so late. i want to enjoy mylife, i want to do things that i want. i do not feel like going on,no aim at all. and i got only a 40% chance... i might not even make it after i studied so hard. lol.

well?

i want to be a pilot, so gotta try hard. if i dun make it...

i will work hard so to prevent it.