today was supposed to be the PE outing day, or whatever you call it. it is supposed to be orienteering in botanical gardens... with a team of 25 people. i do not know how it will be carried out, but i prayed for it to rain today, so i would not have to go for it. and guess what, it rained.

it was first initiated that we as a class, 1s20 were to go out perhaps for lunch or something, as a class. well, when the PE activity was cancelled, people start to leave for their separate ways. in the end, it was only a hand full of people whom were playing pool. as usual, the buys will be on one table, and the girls on another table, and another table would be occupied with girls; but with one guy which is Lin Qiang. maybe its just me, but i still find it hard to start a conversation with the opposite sex. i do not know why, i just cannot start anything. i just asked a few questions that's all. sometimes i really wonder if the problem lies in me or does it lie on the people in my class. i feel very weird when i see other classes, or even people from other JCs. they are so close, you could see that they are a class. is it normal? i do not know. i just feel as though there is some void that is between us. it just does not feel like a class. i feel as though it is my fault to have asked the people to sign the request letter during the first 3 months. i thought that we would be closer if we were to continue as a class again. but it seems it was a very wrong choice. i really think that the problem lies with me. well... there is no need for another request letter for next year. sad aye?

after thinking for a while, i guess we cannot expect everybody in this world to be like yourself. perhaps we are not "fated" to be a class after all. i can remember very clearly when we are supposed to take a class photo. being a school photographer, i took photos for the other classes. they were all so enthusiastic and cooperative. they were all giving suggestions and they could come to a decision that everyone is satisfied with. and the picture came out perfect. the smiles on their faces, you could see a "class". as for my class, i spoke, nobody listened. everyone was doing their own things. at that point, i really wanted to shout at them, i really was about to throw my temper, i was really frustrated, nobody was listening to me, nothing was done at all. in the end, lin qiang loss his temple. then the class start to "move" a little. the picture, it came out as though it was a picture put together manually, pieces by pieces. my class photo really stood out(negatively). the picture was shouting words to people. guess what, even some teacher whom looked at my class picture asked " why are they so separated?" well, from then on, i really felt that the problem lies with me. as i have mentioned, we cannot expect everybody to be like ourselves. well, guess i really do not belong to this class. thank God, there is still some people that could accept me for who i am...

well, some of the people in my class eventually went out to plaza singapura. i guess it was my fault again to cause the class to separate; i wanted to buy my guitar strings and the plugs for my bridge... if that's what you call it. now, i really thought that it was a very selfish move. eventually, we were supposed to meet at KFC, ended out people going their separate ways again. well...

again, the boys were left in a group again. we decided to come to my home's street soccer court near by. to cut the long story short, i kicked the ball in to the river and spoiled everyone's day... well...

i am really regretting coming to this school. well, it was my choice to actually believe the teachers when they said that they would "support external CCA". so much about sweet talking. well, no matter how much i dislike the way the school is run, i made the decision to come to this school, so theres no one to blame except for myself. i should have listened to my parents and gone to CJC, which is so near to my home. maybe it would be a better place. "the grass is always greener on the other side". well... i should stop complaining and just carry on with life as usual. i am like the slient protestor, i believe many of us are like that. since we are already here, might as well complete this journey. i still feel that i am like a kite tied to a string.

this kite well, if you hold it too tight, it will never fly high enough, loosen your grip and it will fly away. however if you hold it just nice, both will benefit. i still feel that the school is holding us too tight. seems as though they are passing their insecurity to us.

there is still some things i cannot understand. the Tailor service for our uniform. "to make it better so that all students can wear their uniform smartly to school". the uniform... the colour, does not make us smart at all. do you see professionals wearing brown in the Central Business District? all brown, head to toe? no... waste of money and time. as though this will prevent the draw strings. these money could be done to develop the school. then whats next? compulsory for us to buy another set of uniforms? or another trade in? with some common sense, i do not think this will work at all.

imagine the hair for boys and girls... call a professional for consultation for short hairstyles? lol...

do i like my school i am in now? am i a crazy nut? i can tell you one thing, after the Thanksgiving concert, i love the school, the teachers. but i just cannot accept the policies that are set. and of course the time table, and the rejection for Fans in the toilet. well... i brought all these to myself.

who i am after all to make such comments? i am a nobody in school. as if what i have said matters at all... well... perhaps one day i would look back and see how foolish i was? or maybe i would look back and see that there was something that could be done to make things better. who knows?

i will be flying tomorrow, do pray for my safety. I really hope to fly with my primary instructor.

life will go on as usual and i still hope for a better tomorrow. and i really hope to be back in home ground... SA

well... God's love will carry me through, Amen

today was supposed to be the PE outing day, or whatever you call it. it is supposed to be orienteering in botanical gardens... with a team of 25 people. i do not know how it will be carried out, but i prayed for it to rain today, so i would not have to go for it. and guess what, it rained.

it was first initiated that we as a class, 1s20 were to go out perhaps for lunch or something, as a class. well, when the PE activity was cancelled, people start to leave for their separate ways. in the end, it was only a hand full of people whom were playing pool. as usual, the buys will be on one table, and the girls on another table, and another table would be occupied with girls; but with one guy which is Lin Qiang. maybe its just me, but i still find it hard to start a conversation with the opposite sex. i do not know why, i just cannot start anything. i just asked a few questions that's all. sometimes i really wonder if the problem lies in me or does it lie on the people in my class. i feel very weird when i see other classes, or even people from other JCs. they are so close, you could see that they are a class. is it normal? i do not know. i just feel as though there is some void that is between us. it just does not feel like a class. i feel as though it is my fault to have asked the people to sign the request letter during the first 3 months. i thought that we would be closer if we were to continue as a class again. but it seems it was a very wrong choice. i really think that the problem lies with me. well... there is no need for another request letter for next year. sad aye?

after thinking for a while, i guess we cannot expect everybody in this world to be like yourself. perhaps we are not "fated" to be a class after all. i can remember very clearly when we are supposed to take a class photo. being a school photographer, i took photos for the other classes. they were all so enthusiastic and cooperative. they were all giving suggestions and they could come to a decision that everyone is satisfied with. and the picture came out perfect. the smiles on their faces, you could see a "class". as for my class, i spoke, nobody listened. everyone was doing their own things. at that point, i really wanted to shout at them, i really was about to throw my temper, i was really frustrated, nobody was listening to me, nothing was done at all. in the end, lin qiang loss his temple. then the class start to "move" a little. the picture, it came out as though it was a picture put together manually, pieces by pieces. my class photo really stood out(negatively). the picture was shouting words to people. guess what, even some teacher whom looked at my class picture asked " why are they so separated?" well, from then on, i really felt that the problem lies with me. as i have mentioned, we cannot expect everybody to be like ourselves. well, guess i really do not belong to this class. thank God, there is still some people that could accept me for who i am...

well, some of the people in my class eventually went out to plaza singapura. i guess it was my fault again to cause the class to separate; i wanted to buy my guitar strings and the plugs for my bridge... if that's what you call it. now, i really thought that it was a very selfish move. eventually, we were supposed to meet at KFC, ended out people going their separate ways again. well...

again, the boys were left in a group again. we decided to come to my home's street soccer court near by. to cut the long story short, i kicked the ball in to the river and spoiled everyone's day... well...

i am really regretting coming to this school. well, it was my choice to actually believe the teachers when they said that they would "support external CCA". so much about sweet talking. well, no matter how much i dislike the way the school is run, i made the decision to come to this school, so theres no one to blame except for myself. i should have listened to my parents and gone to CJC, which is so near to my home. maybe it would be a better place. "the grass is always greener on the other side". well... i should stop complaining and just carry on with life as usual. i am like the slient protestor, i believe many of us are like that. since we are already here, might as well complete this journey. i still feel that i am like a kite tied to a string.

this kite well, if you hold it too tight, it will never fly high enough, loosen your grip and it will fly away. however if you hold it just nice, both will benefit. i still feel that the school is holding us too tight. seems as though they are passing their insecurity to us.

there is still some things i cannot understand. the Tailor service for our uniform. "to make it better so that all students can wear their uniform smartly to school". the uniform... the colour, does not make us smart at all. do you see professionals wearing brown in the Central Business District? all brown, head to toe? no... waste of money and time. as though this will prevent the draw strings. these money could be done to develop the school. then whats next? compulsory for us to buy another set of uniforms? or another trade in? with some common sense, i do not think this will work at all.

imagine the hair for boys and girls... call a professional for consultation for short hairstyles? lol...

do i like my school i am in now? am i a crazy nut? i can tell you one thing, after the Thanksgiving concert, i love the school, the teachers. but i just cannot accept the policies that are set. and of course the time table, and the rejection for Fans in the toilet. well... i brought all these to myself.

who i am after all to make such comments? i am a nobody in school. as if what i have said matters at all... well... perhaps one day i would look back and see how foolish i was? or maybe i would look back and see that there was something that could be done to make things better. who knows?

i will be flying tomorrow, do pray for my safety. I really hope to fly with my primary instructor.

life will go on as usual and i still hope for a better tomorrow. and i really hope to be back in home ground... SA

well... God's love will carry me through, Amen