well... its been a very tiring week... have been sleeping at about 1 to 3 am in the morning, waking up at 6am to go to school... well, been scolded in class, been labelled a selfish person... well... hell yea, i am going to complain and show my unhappiness and give my stand on this "unfortunate" event.


well, the good Friday/Easter break was not well spent... i basically went to church on Friday and Sunday... went to people's houses for celebration, and then went home late... Saturday had 3 hours spent in math tuition... i did my tuition homework and yea... due to super poor time planning... i could not finish my school homework...

to make things worst, i had tuition on a monday...8.30 to 11 pm... then on a Tuesday, GP 9.30 to 10.30 pm... maths tuition is at bishan, while GP is a the British Council... Napier road... from bishan back home, about 1 hour, due to the irregular and long time for the bus to arrive... 25 mins... then from Napier road back home (Napier road is at Gleneagles hospital; botanic gardens) i take 1.5 hours just to reach home...

dinner, bath will take up about 25 minutes... but the time i start my work, its nearly 11.30 to 12 am... plus the tonnes of homework... i tell you... i cannot manage...

honestly... this is real crap, i got so much work to do, i got so little time... and being slow in understanding concepts does not help at all... i am slow learner, no point being ashamed about it... i need more time... how am i going to even just finish my school homework when i got so little time? i am tired, not only physically, but mentally too... i am going to break down...

to makes things worst, we are going to have pop quizzes next week, for chem, econs, and maths... and after every complete lesson for physics, quiz... well... jc life is really stressful...

sometimes, i just do not understand why teachers see us as lazy people at home, slacking and not doing anything, i must say and i will say, who is this bloody jc not want to go to university? at least for me, i want to go to the university, i want to be a fighter pilot, and in order to do so, i must conquer the fucking education system... which is, ultimately, screwed...

on a political point of view, we (the people not making it to the local university), have no say cos, this is what Singapore is like, not natural resources blah blah blah... to remain competitive (to survive) we need to be the best... and people like me... (slow learners) are nothing but just a bunch of people that will pull things down... well, this is how the Singapore society view us...

sometimes, i really wonder why does srjc exist... i mean, jcs are allocated so that the total amount of people whom graduate can ths be able to go to a local university... after all... jc used to be PRE U... well, i guess times have changed...

to make thing worst, the effort that at least i have put in, does not reflect on the results... not only i am affected, my parents are starting to doubt if their money is well spent... i want to succeed (who does not?), i am not going to blame time, or anything, but i really want it, i am not a slacker and just know about having fun, please, understand, all i want is to do this and do this well... that's all i want... i have been putting in the effort, and 4 U grades does not help... why? why? i really wonder why am i so fucking stupid...

Thursday, after sleeping at 3am in the morning rushing through essay (FULL LENGTH ESSAYS) corrections, i was too damn tired so i decided to make the time useful by studying the things that are not being tested before... i put in the effort...

the next day, verbal quiz... i got a bloody reasonable question... fucking simple too... but i just could not remember anything... as i stood there, there are a few things i could have done...

1. ask people to help me ( cheat myself)
2. tell a lie and say do not understand
3. admit that never study and face the music

well... i choose 3./// and got screwed so hard... i was being labelled a selfish person that will affect the progress of learning in class... i am angry, i am frustrated, super demoralised, feel like shit... but well, i really did not study... what else could i have done? well, i had to copy the lecture notes... another activity which i personally label under the category... "a shyte waste of time"

well... i do feel bad... as i have honestly wasted the time of my class mates... well... being a class leader is shit i tell you...

no point dwelling in the past, gotta move on, be strong... but, in the inside... i really feel so helpless... the "positive mindset" thing helps a little... but its still the struggle in the inside... it just makes you feel so empty, so tired, so useless... if not for the dream of being a fighter pilot, i would have given up a long time ago... 7 more months to determine my future... i have come so far... no point turning back... i am going to finish this race and do it well...

took some photos during this week...

a picture taken on the way to school


this is taken in school


taken yesterday after school... nice sky aye?





a view from my window...



taken in the "biggest LT" in school...




some shitty moments in life... when you though you had it all... shit happens

well... its been a very tiring week... have been sleeping at about 1 to 3 am in the morning, waking up at 6am to go to school... well, been scolded in class, been labelled a selfish person... well... hell yea, i am going to complain and show my unhappiness and give my stand on this "unfortunate" event.


well, the good Friday/Easter break was not well spent... i basically went to church on Friday and Sunday... went to people's houses for celebration, and then went home late... Saturday had 3 hours spent in math tuition... i did my tuition homework and yea... due to super poor time planning... i could not finish my school homework...

to make things worst, i had tuition on a monday...8.30 to 11 pm... then on a Tuesday, GP 9.30 to 10.30 pm... maths tuition is at bishan, while GP is a the British Council... Napier road... from bishan back home, about 1 hour, due to the irregular and long time for the bus to arrive... 25 mins... then from Napier road back home (Napier road is at Gleneagles hospital; botanic gardens) i take 1.5 hours just to reach home...

dinner, bath will take up about 25 minutes... but the time i start my work, its nearly 11.30 to 12 am... plus the tonnes of homework... i tell you... i cannot manage...

honestly... this is real crap, i got so much work to do, i got so little time... and being slow in understanding concepts does not help at all... i am slow learner, no point being ashamed about it... i need more time... how am i going to even just finish my school homework when i got so little time? i am tired, not only physically, but mentally too... i am going to break down...

to makes things worst, we are going to have pop quizzes next week, for chem, econs, and maths... and after every complete lesson for physics, quiz... well... jc life is really stressful...

sometimes, i just do not understand why teachers see us as lazy people at home, slacking and not doing anything, i must say and i will say, who is this bloody jc not want to go to university? at least for me, i want to go to the university, i want to be a fighter pilot, and in order to do so, i must conquer the fucking education system... which is, ultimately, screwed...

on a political point of view, we (the people not making it to the local university), have no say cos, this is what Singapore is like, not natural resources blah blah blah... to remain competitive (to survive) we need to be the best... and people like me... (slow learners) are nothing but just a bunch of people that will pull things down... well, this is how the Singapore society view us...

sometimes, i really wonder why does srjc exist... i mean, jcs are allocated so that the total amount of people whom graduate can ths be able to go to a local university... after all... jc used to be PRE U... well, i guess times have changed...

to make thing worst, the effort that at least i have put in, does not reflect on the results... not only i am affected, my parents are starting to doubt if their money is well spent... i want to succeed (who does not?), i am not going to blame time, or anything, but i really want it, i am not a slacker and just know about having fun, please, understand, all i want is to do this and do this well... that's all i want... i have been putting in the effort, and 4 U grades does not help... why? why? i really wonder why am i so fucking stupid...

Thursday, after sleeping at 3am in the morning rushing through essay (FULL LENGTH ESSAYS) corrections, i was too damn tired so i decided to make the time useful by studying the things that are not being tested before... i put in the effort...

the next day, verbal quiz... i got a bloody reasonable question... fucking simple too... but i just could not remember anything... as i stood there, there are a few things i could have done...

1. ask people to help me ( cheat myself)
2. tell a lie and say do not understand
3. admit that never study and face the music

well... i choose 3./// and got screwed so hard... i was being labelled a selfish person that will affect the progress of learning in class... i am angry, i am frustrated, super demoralised, feel like shit... but well, i really did not study... what else could i have done? well, i had to copy the lecture notes... another activity which i personally label under the category... "a shyte waste of time"

well... i do feel bad... as i have honestly wasted the time of my class mates... well... being a class leader is shit i tell you...

no point dwelling in the past, gotta move on, be strong... but, in the inside... i really feel so helpless... the "positive mindset" thing helps a little... but its still the struggle in the inside... it just makes you feel so empty, so tired, so useless... if not for the dream of being a fighter pilot, i would have given up a long time ago... 7 more months to determine my future... i have come so far... no point turning back... i am going to finish this race and do it well...

took some photos during this week...

a picture taken on the way to school


this is taken in school


taken yesterday after school... nice sky aye?





a view from my window...



taken in the "biggest LT" in school...




some shitty moments in life... when you though you had it all... shit happens