instead of going for youth service today, i decided to head for adult's service with my parents today for a change... need some time off... from youth...


correct with if i am wrong, but i do feel as though youth i so much focused on our personal sacrifice for God... it not wrong, but its not what i can do now... i can't even support myself, take control of my life, how am i supposed to serve God? i am not finding excuses, but i just need God... i am broken, stressed, fustrated, angry, lost... just everything negative...


saw Godma and Godpa outside of the sancturary, went to sit with them... well, i guess i am really stressed up... at least from how i looked, Godma prayed for me... strength, piority, and trust... not to loose my focus... to fight this battle... well, she seems pretty worried with me... i can tell...


she then reminded me that this time now, is not all about studying... something i am truly guity of... perhaps thats why i am so weak... physically, emotionally... i have lost my focus on God, and trusted myself instead... there is more to life than studying... and studying alone... i need to focus on God and trust that he will bring me through...


during worship, we sang "how great is our God"... i broke down... could not stand it... how could i not trust the Lord for everything in my life... he is with me all the way, and will continue to do so... i trusted myself too much, that i neglected him... after all, he rose from the dead, to bring me through this time... is nothing...


then again, i cannot just count on him totally, i also have to do my part... this means, more time to study, but with the trust that God will be there for me...


i am still praying about her... i did not receieve anything from God... yet... perhaps i should not think so much about it...


well... i do feel better now... but then again, the people around me are not...


seems like the class is going into an so called "identity crisis" now... again, we are feeling as though this class is a mere "for show" kinda thing... yup... i honestly do not think that 2s17 is a class at all... just a mere label of a group of people... its confirmed, this class is just... not clicking with each other... well... this is why some of us (including me) is just not doing well i guess... its just the group of guys... plus the 3-4 groups of gals in class... everyone is just for themselves... comeon... who can bravley say that are ok with everyone in class, especially in 2s17... raise your hands... i really wonder... did the guys do anything wrong... did i do anything wrong? as a class leader... i feel like fuck... other classes are so close together... and lo and beho... i am here... and the class is crap...


i look at 1s21, the class i took for orientation... THEY TOTALLY ROCKED... EAT TOGETHER,STUDY TOGETHER, MOVE TOGETHER... wtf... they are so nice... look at 2s17... this is the second year... and we are like that... worst... its taking the emothional toil on some people... we are just tired... sick... of this class... if i could... i will change my class right now... in this instance... i will just leave... at least i have more friends... fuck... i will bring the guys along in my class... come, lets just leave...


then again, if the problem do not lie in the guys... its the gals... if not who? i do feel as though we are caught in this crap... inbetween of this shit... what have we really done?perhaps its only me and a few guys that are feeling like that... oh well... from the PW results, its already a testimony why we did not get the expected results... we do not share our findings, we do not help each other... look at the other classes... those with A grades... they helped each other... not like us... AND WE HAD THE POTENTIAL...


is it individual cause and effect? or group cause and effect? honestly, i cannot give a fuck... whatever, i am just a "for show" and i could not give a damn... i am afterall... just like that...


i am sry for all the strong words... but i just can't stand this crap... i am sry, forgive me...


i am feeling the pressure, stress, urgency... no more time... its clicking away...!!! damn... oh well... make the full use of time, and just work... trust the lord...


back to you...


i am making a promise to myself... for you...


i will work my ass off for you...


i will be a fighter pilot for you...


i will study and do well for you...


i will push on for you...


its for you...


i don't care if you know or not, i don't care if you hate me. i don't care...


i will just do it for you... even if you know or not... its for you...


so you better continue to work damn hard... do better than me or sth... just do well...


if you could... please stop being so attractive? ha...


i bought the I HEART REVOLUTION CD!!! finally... and yea, it rocks...



ok then... rock on people...


sth which i thought is damn cool... kudos to marcus sng... pray that he will not die from doing such things in singapore... LOL

instead of going for youth service today, i decided to head for adult's service with my parents today for a change... need some time off... from youth...


correct with if i am wrong, but i do feel as though youth i so much focused on our personal sacrifice for God... it not wrong, but its not what i can do now... i can't even support myself, take control of my life, how am i supposed to serve God? i am not finding excuses, but i just need God... i am broken, stressed, fustrated, angry, lost... just everything negative...


saw Godma and Godpa outside of the sancturary, went to sit with them... well, i guess i am really stressed up... at least from how i looked, Godma prayed for me... strength, piority, and trust... not to loose my focus... to fight this battle... well, she seems pretty worried with me... i can tell...


she then reminded me that this time now, is not all about studying... something i am truly guity of... perhaps thats why i am so weak... physically, emotionally... i have lost my focus on God, and trusted myself instead... there is more to life than studying... and studying alone... i need to focus on God and trust that he will bring me through...


during worship, we sang "how great is our God"... i broke down... could not stand it... how could i not trust the Lord for everything in my life... he is with me all the way, and will continue to do so... i trusted myself too much, that i neglected him... after all, he rose from the dead, to bring me through this time... is nothing...


then again, i cannot just count on him totally, i also have to do my part... this means, more time to study, but with the trust that God will be there for me...


i am still praying about her... i did not receieve anything from God... yet... perhaps i should not think so much about it...


well... i do feel better now... but then again, the people around me are not...


seems like the class is going into an so called "identity crisis" now... again, we are feeling as though this class is a mere "for show" kinda thing... yup... i honestly do not think that 2s17 is a class at all... just a mere label of a group of people... its confirmed, this class is just... not clicking with each other... well... this is why some of us (including me) is just not doing well i guess... its just the group of guys... plus the 3-4 groups of gals in class... everyone is just for themselves... comeon... who can bravley say that are ok with everyone in class, especially in 2s17... raise your hands... i really wonder... did the guys do anything wrong... did i do anything wrong? as a class leader... i feel like fuck... other classes are so close together... and lo and beho... i am here... and the class is crap...


i look at 1s21, the class i took for orientation... THEY TOTALLY ROCKED... EAT TOGETHER,STUDY TOGETHER, MOVE TOGETHER... wtf... they are so nice... look at 2s17... this is the second year... and we are like that... worst... its taking the emothional toil on some people... we are just tired... sick... of this class... if i could... i will change my class right now... in this instance... i will just leave... at least i have more friends... fuck... i will bring the guys along in my class... come, lets just leave...


then again, if the problem do not lie in the guys... its the gals... if not who? i do feel as though we are caught in this crap... inbetween of this shit... what have we really done?perhaps its only me and a few guys that are feeling like that... oh well... from the PW results, its already a testimony why we did not get the expected results... we do not share our findings, we do not help each other... look at the other classes... those with A grades... they helped each other... not like us... AND WE HAD THE POTENTIAL...


is it individual cause and effect? or group cause and effect? honestly, i cannot give a fuck... whatever, i am just a "for show" and i could not give a damn... i am afterall... just like that...


i am sry for all the strong words... but i just can't stand this crap... i am sry, forgive me...


i am feeling the pressure, stress, urgency... no more time... its clicking away...!!! damn... oh well... make the full use of time, and just work... trust the lord...


back to you...


i am making a promise to myself... for you...


i will work my ass off for you...


i will be a fighter pilot for you...


i will study and do well for you...


i will push on for you...


its for you...


i don't care if you know or not, i don't care if you hate me. i don't care...


i will just do it for you... even if you know or not... its for you...


so you better continue to work damn hard... do better than me or sth... just do well...


if you could... please stop being so attractive? ha...


i bought the I HEART REVOLUTION CD!!! finally... and yea, it rocks...



ok then... rock on people...


sth which i thought is damn cool... kudos to marcus sng... pray that he will not die from doing such things in singapore... LOL