my brother went to china for an exchange programme today... he's in Shanghai now... its his first time abroad, hope he could survive... i am kinda worried for him... he tends to be blur, oh well... he will be back... as for now... i got one more less person to talk to...


went for a 15km run today... jogged for 1 hr 30 mins... thought about many things in my life... here are just somethings that i have thought as i was running...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

sometimes, i really think that the reason why our class is like that, i am kinda responsible for it... its just the way i carry myself i guess... i am supposed to be the link between the groups in class, but i am not doing anything about it... and i guess there are many gossiping around in class... the suspicions are very obvious, all the back stabbing... kinda childish behaviour, but yea, though many people in class seem not to care anything less but studies, its the lack of communication that have caused such a viod between us... i maybe wrong, but hey, i got eyes, i got ears, i got a brain that could at least read body languages... it may be misunderstandings, it may be prejudice, it may be more, but then again... its just plan childishness...


i am sorry that i sound like the "all so perfect person"... but this is what i see... i may come from a all boys' school... but i certainly know what is a class... i see the other classes in school... IN FACT, any class in school... there is nothing like our class... there is just this sense of hatered, unhappiness in class... all the bitching and gossips, the lack of understanding, the unwillingness to step back, to try to understand stuff, is really taking the toil in class... i maybe wrong, but this is what i see, this is what i feel...


maybe its competitiveness, maybe its supposed to be like that, perhaps this is a reality check for me, a tight slap in the face, the tip of the rugby ball direct to the face... the so called "class"only exist in SAS... the "one for all, all for one, brother -brother, you die i die attitude"... perhaps that was the childish thing, and SRJC, 2s17 is the real deal out there... the real world as many like to say... survival of the fittest...



every time when i miss school, be in back in SAS, SAJS, i do miss people in class, in fact, i miss my classmates, they would call, ask where the $(&@#)(&() i was, why the )*$#@&$) i was sick... call me a bloody sissy, give me a big slap on the back... i was really accepted as somebody...even the teachers would ask, from chinese, geog, maths, english, physics, chem, A maths... back here in SRJC... only a few smses by some closer peeps in class...


perhaps that is what makes SA so special to us... once a saint, always a saint... i can now understand why all my mentors in SA always tell me to enjoy the time i have in SA... there is nothing like that... anywhere...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

no pats on the back, no "how are you..." damn, even the teachers could not give 2 hoots about me... (only a few bothered to ask...)


then comes to the reality again, people with better grades get the attention... its like a filter analogy... the "wanted" are kept in the filter, the "unwanted" stuff... just flow through, no second thought, emotions given... the real world is really cruel i must say...


being an underachiever, is equal to being screwed... ah, "i believe all you guys will go to SMU, NTU, NUS... and... SIM, maybe a later time to get into university...." encouragement? i say sarcasm...


whatever... i know some of you think i am a person in need of attention... sometimes, this is why school is like that...


in fact, i was never treated like that back in secondary and primary school... time to grow up kennethlimjunliang... heck, this school have already ruin my dreams... so much for "we will also journey with you to discover your abilities, talents and drive, so you can be successful in your chosen playing field"


what makes you think you got the rights to say that kennethlimjunliang? who do you think you are? let me tell you, my passion is to fly, if you can't even fly a plane shut up, score a 6/8 for a sortie then talk... i worked so hard to apply for SYFC, i put aside my time, i went the extra mile to plan my life, do well in school, excel in my CCA, get into SYFC, my efforts all gone to waste with the SRJC... "oh you can't skip school time to go and fly..." so much for supporting me... my dreams just shatter right in front of me... all my efforts, the time spent, all gone with one person... one bloody ass...


in the end, i am all to blame, i can only blame myself... for not working hard enough to get in to SAJC, RJC, even NYJC... or in fact other JCs... how many people in singapore can fly a plane at the age of 17? ITS A PRIVILEGE TO FLY... can they understand? if only i was smarter, put in more effort, after all, i am only 2 points away from getting into SAJC... so much for the promise... "we will support all external CCAs..."


they gotta get their bearings right... seriously


then again... this is the real world kennethlimjunliang... work damn hard, the school is just there to provide... thats all, anything else, its just a lie...


they say CCA is important... a private pilot's licence at the age of 18 is even more significant... childish people with narrow prospective of things...



i am confident that i could be a PPL... i had already proved that i could... when nobody could... and they have to come and do this to me...


mom was right... CJC... will be a better choice...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

the china earth quake, with all the sufferings, the pain, i look at myself, and what i have said up above, the cold chills just run down my spine... i am after all... bloody fortunate and lucky to be in singapore... stop whining and study hard kennethlimjunliang, people are suffering out there, and you here, in the comfort of your room, with your laptop, blogging and complaining about stuff... just look at the children without homes, lost their parents, lost everything... you got a class room, you complain that the weather is so hot, you complain that you are tired, you complain that you cannot finish your tutorial, you complain that the class is not what you preferred it to be... just complain and complain...


when i was running, i was really ashamed about myself... all i know is just to complain, everything, i feel like paris hilton, a cheap, over protected and spoilt piece of shit... its an understatement...


its all about me myself and i... i felt like shit...


looking back... i must appreciate my life more... my parents my life, everything... even the opportunity to study... after all... upon reflecting... its a matter of how much i want it... just whining and just do it...


but, i still feel robbed of my future...



why?


fighter pilots wannabes get kicked out in 2 phrases... the health check up is the first part... and the basic flying course... one wrong mistake, and its all gone... how is then a PPL able to help you? you skip the basic flying course, go into airforce with a WING, when everyone else got nth... its a fast forward... and they have to take it all away... thanks...


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i am not being a spoilt brat as if the world owes me, i can dare say and bet my life that i have put in all the effort for this, my plans ever since i penned down my name for a CCA in secondary school, i will be in NCC, i will join the prefects, i will do my best, so that i can get a chance to be interviewed for SYFC... i worked for it... i find out everything myself, i NEVER, I NEVER involved my parents, all by myself... MYSELF... I WORKED FOR IT... and they have to do this to me...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

with the state of being unsatisfied and angry, pissed, i would like to say something... perhaps... some credits should go to the soldiers in china involved in the quake... so many is being done to show the extent of people's sufferings, other countries contributions... perhaps, we should all rise, and applause the soldiers of the republic of china... if you have been reading the papers, sichuan is a rather huge place with may hard to reach places, soldiers march to hill, move everywhere by foot, have you seen any pictures or any form of media showing soldiers resting? taking a break? they are always on the move... was watching news today in cable... an old woman was begging some chinese soldiers to rest and eat... its seems that the soldiers were always on the move...


bias? rather, lets look beyond the media coverage, gotta think more... after all, are they supposed to do such things? unsung heroes...


again, its just how i feel...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i put myself in her shoes... i know she will never like me, and for me, to constantly blog about how i feel, without thinking about the consequences, like how some of you people will start to think and draw conclusions... if someone whom i have no feelings for, and with my dreams at stake, and this person constantly speaks about her feelings publicly... though no names motioned, i would be very angry... like, why would you need to let people know how you feel?



stupid stupid... i must learn to control my emotions, i can just let it take over me, not thinking about the consequences... putting myself in her shoes... i was pissed... i am damn angry with my actions, i am a selfish bastard... its all about me myself and i again... ok, have feelings, but please shut up and stop making it public...


i am gonna shut it... shut it up... stupid fool...


i was, and never in any position to make my emotions public... stupid... respect...


now i know why she seems to hate me so much, i would too if someone was doing it to me...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
whatever you think, i cannot be bothered, call me whatever you want, have me on your "must kill list", whatever, this is all how i feel, how i see things, i know i maybe wrong, but i have been thinking about all these things for a long time, gathered all the perspective from different from different age, sex, relationships with me ETC...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i am done ranting... thanks for reading...


thanks shin ee for listening to me rant all the time... just needed someone with a different perspective to talk to...


rock on...


back to my books...

i love studying X 10^99999999999999999999999999999999

Labels: its always me and me only, sry if i made you feel like this

my brother went to china for an exchange programme today... he's in Shanghai now... its his first time abroad, hope he could survive... i am kinda worried for him... he tends to be blur, oh well... he will be back... as for now... i got one more less person to talk to...


went for a 15km run today... jogged for 1 hr 30 mins... thought about many things in my life... here are just somethings that i have thought as i was running...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

sometimes, i really think that the reason why our class is like that, i am kinda responsible for it... its just the way i carry myself i guess... i am supposed to be the link between the groups in class, but i am not doing anything about it... and i guess there are many gossiping around in class... the suspicions are very obvious, all the back stabbing... kinda childish behaviour, but yea, though many people in class seem not to care anything less but studies, its the lack of communication that have caused such a viod between us... i maybe wrong, but hey, i got eyes, i got ears, i got a brain that could at least read body languages... it may be misunderstandings, it may be prejudice, it may be more, but then again... its just plan childishness...


i am sorry that i sound like the "all so perfect person"... but this is what i see... i may come from a all boys' school... but i certainly know what is a class... i see the other classes in school... IN FACT, any class in school... there is nothing like our class... there is just this sense of hatered, unhappiness in class... all the bitching and gossips, the lack of understanding, the unwillingness to step back, to try to understand stuff, is really taking the toil in class... i maybe wrong, but this is what i see, this is what i feel...


maybe its competitiveness, maybe its supposed to be like that, perhaps this is a reality check for me, a tight slap in the face, the tip of the rugby ball direct to the face... the so called "class"only exist in SAS... the "one for all, all for one, brother -brother, you die i die attitude"... perhaps that was the childish thing, and SRJC, 2s17 is the real deal out there... the real world as many like to say... survival of the fittest...



every time when i miss school, be in back in SAS, SAJS, i do miss people in class, in fact, i miss my classmates, they would call, ask where the $(&@#)(&() i was, why the )*$#@&$) i was sick... call me a bloody sissy, give me a big slap on the back... i was really accepted as somebody...even the teachers would ask, from chinese, geog, maths, english, physics, chem, A maths... back here in SRJC... only a few smses by some closer peeps in class...


perhaps that is what makes SA so special to us... once a saint, always a saint... i can now understand why all my mentors in SA always tell me to enjoy the time i have in SA... there is nothing like that... anywhere...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

no pats on the back, no "how are you..." damn, even the teachers could not give 2 hoots about me... (only a few bothered to ask...)


then comes to the reality again, people with better grades get the attention... its like a filter analogy... the "wanted" are kept in the filter, the "unwanted" stuff... just flow through, no second thought, emotions given... the real world is really cruel i must say...


being an underachiever, is equal to being screwed... ah, "i believe all you guys will go to SMU, NTU, NUS... and... SIM, maybe a later time to get into university...." encouragement? i say sarcasm...


whatever... i know some of you think i am a person in need of attention... sometimes, this is why school is like that...


in fact, i was never treated like that back in secondary and primary school... time to grow up kennethlimjunliang... heck, this school have already ruin my dreams... so much for "we will also journey with you to discover your abilities, talents and drive, so you can be successful in your chosen playing field"


what makes you think you got the rights to say that kennethlimjunliang? who do you think you are? let me tell you, my passion is to fly, if you can't even fly a plane shut up, score a 6/8 for a sortie then talk... i worked so hard to apply for SYFC, i put aside my time, i went the extra mile to plan my life, do well in school, excel in my CCA, get into SYFC, my efforts all gone to waste with the SRJC... "oh you can't skip school time to go and fly..." so much for supporting me... my dreams just shatter right in front of me... all my efforts, the time spent, all gone with one person... one bloody ass...


in the end, i am all to blame, i can only blame myself... for not working hard enough to get in to SAJC, RJC, even NYJC... or in fact other JCs... how many people in singapore can fly a plane at the age of 17? ITS A PRIVILEGE TO FLY... can they understand? if only i was smarter, put in more effort, after all, i am only 2 points away from getting into SAJC... so much for the promise... "we will support all external CCAs..."


they gotta get their bearings right... seriously


then again... this is the real world kennethlimjunliang... work damn hard, the school is just there to provide... thats all, anything else, its just a lie...


they say CCA is important... a private pilot's licence at the age of 18 is even more significant... childish people with narrow prospective of things...



i am confident that i could be a PPL... i had already proved that i could... when nobody could... and they have to come and do this to me...


mom was right... CJC... will be a better choice...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

the china earth quake, with all the sufferings, the pain, i look at myself, and what i have said up above, the cold chills just run down my spine... i am after all... bloody fortunate and lucky to be in singapore... stop whining and study hard kennethlimjunliang, people are suffering out there, and you here, in the comfort of your room, with your laptop, blogging and complaining about stuff... just look at the children without homes, lost their parents, lost everything... you got a class room, you complain that the weather is so hot, you complain that you are tired, you complain that you cannot finish your tutorial, you complain that the class is not what you preferred it to be... just complain and complain...


when i was running, i was really ashamed about myself... all i know is just to complain, everything, i feel like paris hilton, a cheap, over protected and spoilt piece of shit... its an understatement...


its all about me myself and i... i felt like shit...


looking back... i must appreciate my life more... my parents my life, everything... even the opportunity to study... after all... upon reflecting... its a matter of how much i want it... just whining and just do it...


but, i still feel robbed of my future...



why?


fighter pilots wannabes get kicked out in 2 phrases... the health check up is the first part... and the basic flying course... one wrong mistake, and its all gone... how is then a PPL able to help you? you skip the basic flying course, go into airforce with a WING, when everyone else got nth... its a fast forward... and they have to take it all away... thanks...


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i am not being a spoilt brat as if the world owes me, i can dare say and bet my life that i have put in all the effort for this, my plans ever since i penned down my name for a CCA in secondary school, i will be in NCC, i will join the prefects, i will do my best, so that i can get a chance to be interviewed for SYFC... i worked for it... i find out everything myself, i NEVER, I NEVER involved my parents, all by myself... MYSELF... I WORKED FOR IT... and they have to do this to me...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

with the state of being unsatisfied and angry, pissed, i would like to say something... perhaps... some credits should go to the soldiers in china involved in the quake... so many is being done to show the extent of people's sufferings, other countries contributions... perhaps, we should all rise, and applause the soldiers of the republic of china... if you have been reading the papers, sichuan is a rather huge place with may hard to reach places, soldiers march to hill, move everywhere by foot, have you seen any pictures or any form of media showing soldiers resting? taking a break? they are always on the move... was watching news today in cable... an old woman was begging some chinese soldiers to rest and eat... its seems that the soldiers were always on the move...


bias? rather, lets look beyond the media coverage, gotta think more... after all, are they supposed to do such things? unsung heroes...


again, its just how i feel...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i put myself in her shoes... i know she will never like me, and for me, to constantly blog about how i feel, without thinking about the consequences, like how some of you people will start to think and draw conclusions... if someone whom i have no feelings for, and with my dreams at stake, and this person constantly speaks about her feelings publicly... though no names motioned, i would be very angry... like, why would you need to let people know how you feel?



stupid stupid... i must learn to control my emotions, i can just let it take over me, not thinking about the consequences... putting myself in her shoes... i was pissed... i am damn angry with my actions, i am a selfish bastard... its all about me myself and i again... ok, have feelings, but please shut up and stop making it public...


i am gonna shut it... shut it up... stupid fool...


i was, and never in any position to make my emotions public... stupid... respect...


now i know why she seems to hate me so much, i would too if someone was doing it to me...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
whatever you think, i cannot be bothered, call me whatever you want, have me on your "must kill list", whatever, this is all how i feel, how i see things, i know i maybe wrong, but i have been thinking about all these things for a long time, gathered all the perspective from different from different age, sex, relationships with me ETC...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i am done ranting... thanks for reading...


thanks shin ee for listening to me rant all the time... just needed someone with a different perspective to talk to...


rock on...


back to my books...

i love studying X 10^99999999999999999999999999999999

Labels: its always me and me only, sry if i made you feel like this