have you ever done something without even thinking of the consequences, and then it just comes back to you and hit you in the nut.... oh well, this shit happened to me and i have really got myself in a deep shit now... its totally unintentional, but i still did it, without thinking, and now, i guess everyone is having a very negative point of view of the person i am... oh well... guess i am bound to be in more shit to come...


you know, sometimes, i am really wondering what the heck am i doing with my life now, i really wonder whats happening... to make things worst, shit happens, and it happens twice... supposed to go to the british council for tution today... was really sleepy, so i slept at the bus stop... a bus came, and i just hurried to hop onto the bus, i thought it was 106, sat down, and continue to sleep... when i woke up, i found myself in bukit panjang, i boarded the wrong bus... 190... how smart for a jc student... what am i doing? what was i thinking of?


mr chong spoke to me before i left school... he asks if i was ok in school, coping well with work...initially, he asked if maths was the problem... i said yes, no matter how hard i practice, i just cannot do well for maths... he says push on, work hard... he then asks about the other subjects if i am coping well... i thought a while, and told him... "no..." he looks at me, as if he was already expecting the answer, and says... "ok... continue to work hard and consult me..."

how was i supposed to react? on the way out of school, i really thought to myself, why can other people do so well in life, and i am here, trying all my best, putting in my effort, and yet not seeing any results at all... what is this? a cruel joke but God?they say learn from your mistakes, but i just keep on making new mistakes... in life, as a person, as a friend, as a class mate, as a student, as a son, as a brother... i really feel so useless...


or is it me? is my definition of hardwork wrong? i know why i am here, i know why am i studying, but i just cannnot understand why i keep on failing... why the heck i just can't pass a single test... why am i just so dumb and stupid... i work so hard and yet this is how it treats me... i am really tired and fustrated...


then again... do also die, don't do also die... might as well give it my best shot... but then again, i cannot think this way... after all, i got a dream to chase...


if academic mistakes are not the only mistakes i have made, i have even made mistakes that eventually pissed of people... again, i do things without thinking, and it gets me into shit... i am sorry, i promise to change my seat... really sorry...


guess thats why i am not doing well in school...


and then... the emotional spiral that i always find myself in... oh well... i know now that she hates me... totally... oh well... if thats how things will be... what can i do? well...


just do my best...

have you ever done something without even thinking of the consequences, and then it just comes back to you and hit you in the nut.... oh well, this shit happened to me and i have really got myself in a deep shit now... its totally unintentional, but i still did it, without thinking, and now, i guess everyone is having a very negative point of view of the person i am... oh well... guess i am bound to be in more shit to come...


you know, sometimes, i am really wondering what the heck am i doing with my life now, i really wonder whats happening... to make things worst, shit happens, and it happens twice... supposed to go to the british council for tution today... was really sleepy, so i slept at the bus stop... a bus came, and i just hurried to hop onto the bus, i thought it was 106, sat down, and continue to sleep... when i woke up, i found myself in bukit panjang, i boarded the wrong bus... 190... how smart for a jc student... what am i doing? what was i thinking of?


mr chong spoke to me before i left school... he asks if i was ok in school, coping well with work...initially, he asked if maths was the problem... i said yes, no matter how hard i practice, i just cannot do well for maths... he says push on, work hard... he then asks about the other subjects if i am coping well... i thought a while, and told him... "no..." he looks at me, as if he was already expecting the answer, and says... "ok... continue to work hard and consult me..."

how was i supposed to react? on the way out of school, i really thought to myself, why can other people do so well in life, and i am here, trying all my best, putting in my effort, and yet not seeing any results at all... what is this? a cruel joke but God?they say learn from your mistakes, but i just keep on making new mistakes... in life, as a person, as a friend, as a class mate, as a student, as a son, as a brother... i really feel so useless...


or is it me? is my definition of hardwork wrong? i know why i am here, i know why am i studying, but i just cannnot understand why i keep on failing... why the heck i just can't pass a single test... why am i just so dumb and stupid... i work so hard and yet this is how it treats me... i am really tired and fustrated...


then again... do also die, don't do also die... might as well give it my best shot... but then again, i cannot think this way... after all, i got a dream to chase...


if academic mistakes are not the only mistakes i have made, i have even made mistakes that eventually pissed of people... again, i do things without thinking, and it gets me into shit... i am sorry, i promise to change my seat... really sorry...


guess thats why i am not doing well in school...


and then... the emotional spiral that i always find myself in... oh well... i know now that she hates me... totally... oh well... if thats how things will be... what can i do? well...


just do my best...