i feel so ashamed to say this but yea... i guess i am screwed for the mid years... so much for preparing for it... the maths paper was really crappy... could not do it properly... feel so useless, stupid... oh well... heard some people saying the paper was super easy... thanks alot...


seriously, i am really thinking, why do i still fail when i have done so many work... it does not equate to the results that i show, even the teachers think i am playing a fool in school... can' t you guys just understand that i have really put in the effort, but the paper is just like that... i could not do it... i am not finding excuses for myself... i just can't figure out why i can do questions at home, but when it comes to the real deal... i just screw it all up...


oh well, at least i gotta thank lennon... for listening to me rant and complain about everthing, and of course, accompanying me to the MJ multimedia as i lost myself in the world of music... thanks for your cheese fries too bro... thanks for listening, and being there...


bought a cd... "the essential micheal jackson"... comeon the king of pop, gotta listen to him... got the cd at a rip off price... rocking to him now... SMOOTH CRIMINAL... oh yea....


suddenly, realised that i am kinda screwed... its the midyears, should be improving... but here i am, constantly failing my tests and everything... they say do your work and you will be fine... its not the case... i do my homework, but theres still so much to learn, to understand, its not as simple as they say...



work hard, continue to do work, practice... and hope that i will do well...


kinda tired with this life, homework, school, home, homework, practice, slp... and the process continues... oh well... its just a few more months... push on...


lennon asked me a pretty difficult question today...


RSAF or a person that i like...

i gave him the politically correct answer... RSAF...


he looked at me with disappointment...


that has really got me thinking... is my dreams really the ultimate?


for so long, i have been chasing this dream of mine, ever since i could remember, this i my dream... and now, when things seems to bleek, i really wonder if this is a feasible dream... most importantly, is this the most important thing in life now?


for now, just for now, i still think the RSAF is my goal, is what i really want... afterall, i have chased this dream for 10 years now, no turning back... i have come so far... i am so close...


then again, is this really all? is there more to my life? could something better then it come by?


i dunno, be it sth emotional, perhaps something for fulfilling, but as for now, there is nth that could replace it...


am i being selfish?


i am feeling quite demoralised now... just feel like sleeping, then wake up at 5 tmr for a good run...


you know, sometimes, i really wonder what its like to have a really really close friend... someone whom i can talk to, someone to just be there physically, we do not have to do anything, just be there, as we laze around, and just do nth, and let the day fade away...


i remember the last time me and my friends, when we were in the phillipines... sat down at the beach as we watched the sun set... nth was said, we just looked... there was no light, just the setting sun... it was fantastic... everything in the world seems to fade away as we sat down there... as soon as the sun went, the moon came up... as the lights in the village fills up the places lightly... the stars above left us breathless... if i could only go back...


gotta go back to my books...



guess we are not perfect afterall... no finger pointing, cos 4 finger point back at you when you point at others...



anyway...

Labels: thinkin of you...

i feel so ashamed to say this but yea... i guess i am screwed for the mid years... so much for preparing for it... the maths paper was really crappy... could not do it properly... feel so useless, stupid... oh well... heard some people saying the paper was super easy... thanks alot...


seriously, i am really thinking, why do i still fail when i have done so many work... it does not equate to the results that i show, even the teachers think i am playing a fool in school... can' t you guys just understand that i have really put in the effort, but the paper is just like that... i could not do it... i am not finding excuses for myself... i just can't figure out why i can do questions at home, but when it comes to the real deal... i just screw it all up...


oh well, at least i gotta thank lennon... for listening to me rant and complain about everthing, and of course, accompanying me to the MJ multimedia as i lost myself in the world of music... thanks for your cheese fries too bro... thanks for listening, and being there...


bought a cd... "the essential micheal jackson"... comeon the king of pop, gotta listen to him... got the cd at a rip off price... rocking to him now... SMOOTH CRIMINAL... oh yea....


suddenly, realised that i am kinda screwed... its the midyears, should be improving... but here i am, constantly failing my tests and everything... they say do your work and you will be fine... its not the case... i do my homework, but theres still so much to learn, to understand, its not as simple as they say...



work hard, continue to do work, practice... and hope that i will do well...


kinda tired with this life, homework, school, home, homework, practice, slp... and the process continues... oh well... its just a few more months... push on...


lennon asked me a pretty difficult question today...


RSAF or a person that i like...

i gave him the politically correct answer... RSAF...


he looked at me with disappointment...


that has really got me thinking... is my dreams really the ultimate?


for so long, i have been chasing this dream of mine, ever since i could remember, this i my dream... and now, when things seems to bleek, i really wonder if this is a feasible dream... most importantly, is this the most important thing in life now?


for now, just for now, i still think the RSAF is my goal, is what i really want... afterall, i have chased this dream for 10 years now, no turning back... i have come so far... i am so close...


then again, is this really all? is there more to my life? could something better then it come by?


i dunno, be it sth emotional, perhaps something for fulfilling, but as for now, there is nth that could replace it...


am i being selfish?


i am feeling quite demoralised now... just feel like sleeping, then wake up at 5 tmr for a good run...


you know, sometimes, i really wonder what its like to have a really really close friend... someone whom i can talk to, someone to just be there physically, we do not have to do anything, just be there, as we laze around, and just do nth, and let the day fade away...


i remember the last time me and my friends, when we were in the phillipines... sat down at the beach as we watched the sun set... nth was said, we just looked... there was no light, just the setting sun... it was fantastic... everything in the world seems to fade away as we sat down there... as soon as the sun went, the moon came up... as the lights in the village fills up the places lightly... the stars above left us breathless... if i could only go back...


gotta go back to my books...



guess we are not perfect afterall... no finger pointing, cos 4 finger point back at you when you point at others...



anyway...

Labels: thinkin of you...