well... went for swimming today, was expecting the sun to give me a nice tan, but the sun was just not up today... oh well... went to have lunch outside today... was all alone, but i guess it was kinda fun... being alone and stuff... at least i get to do things that i really want... i wonder if this is a good thing or not, but i do feel that i can't live like that for a long time, its afterall... a loner kinda lifestyle... not really good for one person right?









homework... its almost done... i guess, revision? none... never did anything... school's gonna start next week and i am not prepared at all... i still wanna live like now, sleeping late, waking up late... go for run in the evening, watch a little tv then do homework... its kinda nice... but like always, all the nice things come to an end right? nothing is gonna last forever...









oh well, went out with the guys in class on monday, went to eat sushi, i was like a desperate beggar, i ate like theres not tomorrow, everything just came from the conveyor belt, (thanks to lq and lennon) and into my mouth... yes yes, i admit i was really selfish when it came to the sashimi, i never shared with anyone... LOL... i just ate it by myself... having to sit with people you really know and have a great time eating and talking, sure is great... i enjoyed myself, while stuffing myself silly... ha, the rest of the guys sat at another table, went there to see that that had a big plate of what used to be hand rolls... heard from hr that its about 12 pieces... LOL, i was not surprised when i heard it was all cw's idea... i kinda expect that he will do something like that... lol... in the end, i was seated with the rest, and everyone came and we squeezed together around the table... ha... i must say we had a great time, too bad bryan had to go early...









went to watch kung fu panda and then went to play cs... went home early... just needed some time alone after the long day... sat down at home like a pig...









back to today... marcus sng, my bro, seems to be suicidal, damn, i am really worried about him, he is not online... bro... watch yourself man... will pray for you...









then i am here, just thinking and thinking... about my life, and everything... its the same old story... you know... i don't have to repeat... just that i feel i am not doing enough for myself...









they say memories will last forever, i believe it, after the times i spent all my 18 years on this earth, there are many things that i still remember, like the time i spent is the Philippines with my buddies... if memories will last forever, i am kinda hoping that it will only apply to stuff that will really mean something... was thinking if i was gonna live my life continuing to think about her, i guess i will never move on... then again, i am stuck in the middle, not knowing what i should do... i should be thinking of studying and worrying about the A levels... like everyone else... i guess that is a more appropriate thing to do... well...









was really thinking about myself... the things i have done, the way i am... should i change myself? am i really ok? i really wonder about my future, the person that i will be... the things that i may do in the future...









looking at myself... i kinda see a loser... i just can't seem to get things right... i feel really bad for my parents for being a person that i am...









i dun really know what the heck i am talking about now, but i need to pick myself up again, gotta be strong, be positive... if everyone is/are/can/am doing it, i guess i should do the same to, just gotta quit thinking about quiting and just do... perhaps i tend to equate my situation with the things that are happening around me... i guess i have to change myself... after all, i gotta be strong...









i miss all the people i know back in SA... i miss so many people, my class mates, the teachers, everybody...

























i will wear back the no.1 uniform you see up there... doubt there are many people around whom is able to wear such a uniform even before they step in to the army... i really wanna wear the no.1 uniform again if i become a fighter pilot... perhaps when i get married... i will be in the air force... oh well... i guess i am more than i expected... right? maybe, maybe not... but i need to be more confident about myself...


alright... was doing physics yesterday when i felt really tired, i was giving up on myself, i wanted to sleep but i told myself not to, i pushed on, to the very max... when i was almost giving up, after 4 hours of homework... this was what i saw...

















\













sorry if i sound like a young boy... but i was really so excited... i was behaving like a child... THE BLACK KNIGHTS FLEW OVER MY HOUSE LIKE NOBODIES BUSINESS... I WAS SO EXCITED... IMMEDIATELY, I WAS BACK TO MY WORK... of course... after the black knights did their stuff... yea... the airforce...

well, the song from the previous post... always be... if you watched it, read the lyrics, yea... thats how i am feeling now... the situation that i am in... ah... growing up...

maybe i should not be so shy...?

rock on...

Labels: am missing you... yet nervous to see you...

well... went for swimming today, was expecting the sun to give me a nice tan, but the sun was just not up today... oh well... went to have lunch outside today... was all alone, but i guess it was kinda fun... being alone and stuff... at least i get to do things that i really want... i wonder if this is a good thing or not, but i do feel that i can't live like that for a long time, its afterall... a loner kinda lifestyle... not really good for one person right?









homework... its almost done... i guess, revision? none... never did anything... school's gonna start next week and i am not prepared at all... i still wanna live like now, sleeping late, waking up late... go for run in the evening, watch a little tv then do homework... its kinda nice... but like always, all the nice things come to an end right? nothing is gonna last forever...









oh well, went out with the guys in class on monday, went to eat sushi, i was like a desperate beggar, i ate like theres not tomorrow, everything just came from the conveyor belt, (thanks to lq and lennon) and into my mouth... yes yes, i admit i was really selfish when it came to the sashimi, i never shared with anyone... LOL... i just ate it by myself... having to sit with people you really know and have a great time eating and talking, sure is great... i enjoyed myself, while stuffing myself silly... ha, the rest of the guys sat at another table, went there to see that that had a big plate of what used to be hand rolls... heard from hr that its about 12 pieces... LOL, i was not surprised when i heard it was all cw's idea... i kinda expect that he will do something like that... lol... in the end, i was seated with the rest, and everyone came and we squeezed together around the table... ha... i must say we had a great time, too bad bryan had to go early...









went to watch kung fu panda and then went to play cs... went home early... just needed some time alone after the long day... sat down at home like a pig...









back to today... marcus sng, my bro, seems to be suicidal, damn, i am really worried about him, he is not online... bro... watch yourself man... will pray for you...









then i am here, just thinking and thinking... about my life, and everything... its the same old story... you know... i don't have to repeat... just that i feel i am not doing enough for myself...









they say memories will last forever, i believe it, after the times i spent all my 18 years on this earth, there are many things that i still remember, like the time i spent is the Philippines with my buddies... if memories will last forever, i am kinda hoping that it will only apply to stuff that will really mean something... was thinking if i was gonna live my life continuing to think about her, i guess i will never move on... then again, i am stuck in the middle, not knowing what i should do... i should be thinking of studying and worrying about the A levels... like everyone else... i guess that is a more appropriate thing to do... well...









was really thinking about myself... the things i have done, the way i am... should i change myself? am i really ok? i really wonder about my future, the person that i will be... the things that i may do in the future...









looking at myself... i kinda see a loser... i just can't seem to get things right... i feel really bad for my parents for being a person that i am...









i dun really know what the heck i am talking about now, but i need to pick myself up again, gotta be strong, be positive... if everyone is/are/can/am doing it, i guess i should do the same to, just gotta quit thinking about quiting and just do... perhaps i tend to equate my situation with the things that are happening around me... i guess i have to change myself... after all, i gotta be strong...









i miss all the people i know back in SA... i miss so many people, my class mates, the teachers, everybody...

























i will wear back the no.1 uniform you see up there... doubt there are many people around whom is able to wear such a uniform even before they step in to the army... i really wanna wear the no.1 uniform again if i become a fighter pilot... perhaps when i get married... i will be in the air force... oh well... i guess i am more than i expected... right? maybe, maybe not... but i need to be more confident about myself...


alright... was doing physics yesterday when i felt really tired, i was giving up on myself, i wanted to sleep but i told myself not to, i pushed on, to the very max... when i was almost giving up, after 4 hours of homework... this was what i saw...

















\













sorry if i sound like a young boy... but i was really so excited... i was behaving like a child... THE BLACK KNIGHTS FLEW OVER MY HOUSE LIKE NOBODIES BUSINESS... I WAS SO EXCITED... IMMEDIATELY, I WAS BACK TO MY WORK... of course... after the black knights did their stuff... yea... the airforce...

well, the song from the previous post... always be... if you watched it, read the lyrics, yea... thats how i am feeling now... the situation that i am in... ah... growing up...

maybe i should not be so shy...?

rock on...

Labels: am missing you... yet nervous to see you...