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Friday, 15 August 2008 !@#$% 7:35 pm
its a crazy week... done many things this week, most of which is spent with books, trying to study... its tough... quite demoralising too... thank you guys for studying with me... theres nothing much to say really... i am like that... you know, like a robot, school, home and back to school... nothing much to comment about school, is just that some teachers are really nice and caring, i wonder what i've done to have such nice teachers... anyway... i think i am really lucky... was taking bus to tuition, theres this 2 RJC girls... made me think alot... they were talking about some guys in school... no not about their looks, but on how they are gonna be CEOs and ministers of Singapore... then this girl... said "my mom told me to consider... its like marrying to a future PM..." "how about john? john is going to Stamford, Daryl seems to be going to...." i was totally stunted... is this what the elites are like? a class full of people whom already have all their plan laid in front of them... ministers of Singapore, CEO's of big companies... with real bitchy and arrogant girls as wives... is this really it? i was hoping that they will continue to talk about looks... but looks does not seem to matter to these 2 girls at least... fame, money seems to be their aim... bragging rights i suppose... i was totally taken aback... while i was on the bus, going for maths tuition, listening to john mayer singing "free fallin", dreaming thinking about my dream, thinking about her... these people, over at RJC are talking about politics, going abroad to study, coming back to lead the country, and marrying the "most capable" male in their class... WHAT THE F*$^@?????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is this why am i still like this? then again, i can't be bothered... looking at these 2 girls... though they are way smarter than me, i guess their attitude sucks... is life really about bragging? why is everything so materialistic to them? i wonder am i feeling alright? i just hope that what i saw today was the minority... but i was reminded what happened in class... "so, girls, what do you think of this women?" "she is just being practical..." (an immediate answer) well... i know i have just insulted many of you people... especially girls... but then... what happens after all the money runs out? what happens when things go sour? we will all get old, and maybe even tired of each other... is this why marriage is so... insecure now? is this the world now? is every girl like that? i guess when you have nothing like me, no talent, no looks, no brains, no money, we are sure gonna be losers in front of women... looked down upon... i guess thats why i am like that in school... maybe that's how life is supposed to be... "survival of the fittest..." pessimistic i maybe, but my 10 years in boys school, i have always thought of girls as the better half of men, the caring, compassionate, loving other half of men... you read it in books, you watch it on television... perhaps this is it... girls are not what they seem to be... at least for a large percentage of the female population of singapore... then again, men, are viewed as the stronger half of the human race, we are after all expected to protect the females... right? provide for them, and even love them? right? but it seems as though they are just being very irrational by expecting so much from us... for me at least... then again, i might not be "man" enough for girls to even notice... well... whats relationship then? why the need for boys and girls? male, female? might as well evolve into a new creature... all equal... oh well... life in unfair right? for all you guys whom are feeling real stressed, and pressure, do not worry... work hard, rock on, and we will all be rewarded... i believe in that yo...  i want my dream so badly... and i will work damn hard for it... well... thats all i want to rant about... nothing much left to say right? happy birthday! hope you like it... Labels: trying to be cool is just so uncool... i tried and failed |