i am finding it very difficult to relate to my female counter parts in school... perhaps its me being a very difficult and inflexible person to being with... but it seems as though i get this thought going through my mind that girls around me are not the kind that i heard nor imagine before...



they say once bitten, twice shy, i have seen and experienced many negative examples of how women are like... i have my grandmother, a very screwed up person, heavy gambler, gambled my grandfather's money away till he's left with nothing... a women whom treats my mom like a dog and does not give 2 hoots about how i am doing... then theres this group of girls/women from church... who on the stage and in church seem to lead the so called "correct" life, but back home... they are a total different person from what they preach...



ok, before i carry on, theres a need to understand that i am not being sexist here, i know that i can't judge the whole female population by just a few examples, and i also understand that males are not as "superior" or better than women, but its just that what i have really this opinion about women that is so objective that i think its really affecting me...



you always read me describing how women i perceived should be like, and the way some girls behave in school, or at least around me, seem to contradict this very benchmark of girls...



whatever happened to the friendly gal in school? whatever happened to the gals that are caring etc, what ever happened to the feminine side of girls/women... ???



theres this girl in school, she is a prominent figure in school, everyone knows here or at least seen her before... to me, this girl is a really composed, serious, capable, hardworking, friendly, "steady", "cool" type of girl... some would label her as a model student (no objections for me)... my opinion of her has been always the "serious" gal... then suddenly, this week, i saw what i dare say was on of the most shocking moments in my life... in other words i saw hope, i saw salvation, i saw a gal that was described in books, i saw the gal that i was told about when in was in the boy's school... i saw light... i was right all along...



though she was always composed but smiley... i saw her true feminine side... oh God... this is what girls should be like right? damn, this is what girls are meant to be like... true, honest, and the courage to show what she is really like... i saw hope, i was delighted...



please do not mistaken that i have feeling for this girl... i do not, but she gave me this hope that perhaps the problem does not even lie with me, its just the problem of the girls around me... i am quite convinced that i am pretty unlucky to fall away from the correlation... but yea, its seems as though all along, the problem does not lie with me being weird or whatever, the problem lies with them...



yes, i know i am being very unreasonable here, i know i am being very irrational and inflexible by not looking at how i am myself, but one things for sure, girls in the other side are way way better than some of those people i see in school...



there are also exceptional cases in school where some girls are really nice, but the majority, perhaps because of the stress in the JC life... seem to be deviations from the norm...



here is where i get this dilemma, with the kind of "expectation"in my head, i tend to see girls in a different light, and i have come to understand that it is defiantly wrong to treat girls the way i treat guys... you have to treat girls differently, they are after all, different from us, guys...



take for example when i was running in school on Thursday, i saw some of my classmates whom are gals... when i see them, all these thoughts rushed to my head, and i start to ponder and wonder, even to the extent of suspecting, why these girls seem to be so far off the benchmark? to the very least my benchmark... (i am not saying these girls are useless, they are special in their own ways) then i start to ask, does the problem lie with me? or is it really them? i dunno... after all, only one of the girls said "hi"... i smiled back, the rest... just ran like i never existed...



i know i am being unfair, after all, i should say hi first right? but, it just seems as though these girls just want to be left alone, i am not saying that they are unfriendly, but its just how they seem to have that kind of body language to wanna ignore you... as much as i try to think positively, my mind just associate these girls to those that i mentioned earlier... and my head just jump to conclusions...



as much as my mind tells me, i always try to look at this from both sides, but my mind just contradicts everything that people tell me... it really seems as though perhaps there are girls out there whom are really the kind that i saw in the LT, and in school...



after all, these girls do smile at me when i see them in school.... the others... oh well...



i know i am selfish here, i cannot expect the world to live the way i see them/expect them to become, and i know i am expecting too much from my female counterparts... but its just quite hard to understand them... especially so when you read so much about them and how some girls are really what i expected them to be...



i know i have already offended many other people, but yea, i myself, honestly, am quite disappointed with some of the girls i know... yes yes, i know, identity, personality etc... but yea, as i have mentioned, maybe i am too used with being with guys, but girls on the other hand, you just can't treat them the way you treat you "guy" friends...



perhaps my classmate was right, the grass is always greener on the other side...



maybe i am thinking too much, maybe i am being too sensitive and objective, maybe i am just to crazy... but yea, from what i have seen, there is still hope... that out there, it will be different...



well, do scold me, talk behind my back, even consider to killing me if you think i am wrong, please, by any means, try to change my opinion, 'CAUSE i wanna change too... enlighten me... for i need it... change me, let me see the better side...



42 days left to A levels, and i am screwed...



last post... so yea, tag...



rock on guys

Labels: be my heroine?

i am finding it very difficult to relate to my female counter parts in school... perhaps its me being a very difficult and inflexible person to being with... but it seems as though i get this thought going through my mind that girls around me are not the kind that i heard nor imagine before...



they say once bitten, twice shy, i have seen and experienced many negative examples of how women are like... i have my grandmother, a very screwed up person, heavy gambler, gambled my grandfather's money away till he's left with nothing... a women whom treats my mom like a dog and does not give 2 hoots about how i am doing... then theres this group of girls/women from church... who on the stage and in church seem to lead the so called "correct" life, but back home... they are a total different person from what they preach...



ok, before i carry on, theres a need to understand that i am not being sexist here, i know that i can't judge the whole female population by just a few examples, and i also understand that males are not as "superior" or better than women, but its just that what i have really this opinion about women that is so objective that i think its really affecting me...



you always read me describing how women i perceived should be like, and the way some girls behave in school, or at least around me, seem to contradict this very benchmark of girls...



whatever happened to the friendly gal in school? whatever happened to the gals that are caring etc, what ever happened to the feminine side of girls/women... ???



theres this girl in school, she is a prominent figure in school, everyone knows here or at least seen her before... to me, this girl is a really composed, serious, capable, hardworking, friendly, "steady", "cool" type of girl... some would label her as a model student (no objections for me)... my opinion of her has been always the "serious" gal... then suddenly, this week, i saw what i dare say was on of the most shocking moments in my life... in other words i saw hope, i saw salvation, i saw a gal that was described in books, i saw the gal that i was told about when in was in the boy's school... i saw light... i was right all along...



though she was always composed but smiley... i saw her true feminine side... oh God... this is what girls should be like right? damn, this is what girls are meant to be like... true, honest, and the courage to show what she is really like... i saw hope, i was delighted...



please do not mistaken that i have feeling for this girl... i do not, but she gave me this hope that perhaps the problem does not even lie with me, its just the problem of the girls around me... i am quite convinced that i am pretty unlucky to fall away from the correlation... but yea, its seems as though all along, the problem does not lie with me being weird or whatever, the problem lies with them...



yes, i know i am being very unreasonable here, i know i am being very irrational and inflexible by not looking at how i am myself, but one things for sure, girls in the other side are way way better than some of those people i see in school...



there are also exceptional cases in school where some girls are really nice, but the majority, perhaps because of the stress in the JC life... seem to be deviations from the norm...



here is where i get this dilemma, with the kind of "expectation"in my head, i tend to see girls in a different light, and i have come to understand that it is defiantly wrong to treat girls the way i treat guys... you have to treat girls differently, they are after all, different from us, guys...



take for example when i was running in school on Thursday, i saw some of my classmates whom are gals... when i see them, all these thoughts rushed to my head, and i start to ponder and wonder, even to the extent of suspecting, why these girls seem to be so far off the benchmark? to the very least my benchmark... (i am not saying these girls are useless, they are special in their own ways) then i start to ask, does the problem lie with me? or is it really them? i dunno... after all, only one of the girls said "hi"... i smiled back, the rest... just ran like i never existed...



i know i am being unfair, after all, i should say hi first right? but, it just seems as though these girls just want to be left alone, i am not saying that they are unfriendly, but its just how they seem to have that kind of body language to wanna ignore you... as much as i try to think positively, my mind just associate these girls to those that i mentioned earlier... and my head just jump to conclusions...



as much as my mind tells me, i always try to look at this from both sides, but my mind just contradicts everything that people tell me... it really seems as though perhaps there are girls out there whom are really the kind that i saw in the LT, and in school...



after all, these girls do smile at me when i see them in school.... the others... oh well...



i know i am selfish here, i cannot expect the world to live the way i see them/expect them to become, and i know i am expecting too much from my female counterparts... but its just quite hard to understand them... especially so when you read so much about them and how some girls are really what i expected them to be...



i know i have already offended many other people, but yea, i myself, honestly, am quite disappointed with some of the girls i know... yes yes, i know, identity, personality etc... but yea, as i have mentioned, maybe i am too used with being with guys, but girls on the other hand, you just can't treat them the way you treat you "guy" friends...



perhaps my classmate was right, the grass is always greener on the other side...



maybe i am thinking too much, maybe i am being too sensitive and objective, maybe i am just to crazy... but yea, from what i have seen, there is still hope... that out there, it will be different...



well, do scold me, talk behind my back, even consider to killing me if you think i am wrong, please, by any means, try to change my opinion, 'CAUSE i wanna change too... enlighten me... for i need it... change me, let me see the better side...



42 days left to A levels, and i am screwed...



last post... so yea, tag...



rock on guys

Labels: be my heroine?